Today took an unexpected turn. Lu and I had planned to talk about my partial confession from yesterday, but as the conversation progressed, we ended up playing again. This time, the contact felt more intentional—no longer entirely playful, but genuine. At one point, I had to stop him, as we were still in the classroom, and the professor might have seen us.

After class, we continued our conversation in his car, debating whether we should remain friends or consider being in a relationship. Lu expressed his concern about how this decision might affect my mental health, given everything I have been going through in the last two months—the sense of disconnection with reality, my cybernetic state, and, at times, seeing death as an escape. At one point, Ca came closer and got into the car, but Lu kindly asked him to leave us alone, as our conversation was private. Ca left, giving us space to talk.

Although I had never explicitly expressed my desires, Lu understood what I was implying. He assumed I "wanted to play more", and he was right. (⸝⸝⸝-﹏-⸝⸝⸝)

What started as a serious discussion quickly turned into something more physical. He lifted my shirt and noticed the tight, delicate pink bra I had specifically chosen thinking of him. He complimented it before pulling it up and sucking on my nipples. Then, without much hesitation, he lowered his pants slightly, revealing his penis, which surprised me, though it was something I somewhat expected. Instinctively, I leaned in and began to suck it, while he placed his hand on my head, encouraging me to go deeper. At the same time, his other hand slipped under my shirt, touching my nipples. Moments later, he put his hand inside my pants, stimulating me in a way that was undeniably pleasurable.

However, he stopped before the situation could go any further, aware of our surroundings. We were still in the university parking lot, which made everything risky. There was also the possibility that bW90aGVy could arrive at any moment, which could have led to uncomfortable questions. Although we left things unfinished, I was left with a lingering sense of anticipation. Now, I can't help but wonder what tomorrow will bring.