First day of university.

10/28/2024 • 22:06
Song: None

Today was a monumental day for me—I attended a real-life university for the first time. Finding the classroom took a while since I’m new to the environment, and it’ll probably take some time to get used to the layout. I wore clothes I hadn’t touched in years, and they surprisingly fit well—maybe because I’ve lost 15 pounds since then. I felt elegant in them, but at the same time, so disconnected from myself. My body and mind are so accustomed to existing in the i026NET that stepping into the real world felt like my cables were severed. For the first time in so long, I was seeing real humans—not pixels, but physical, tangible people. I don’t even know how to fully describe the feeling. It was exciting, yes, but also disorienting. I had to be real-life me—grounded, realistic—not the version of me who dwells in the safe, comforting spaces of my mind, where everything feels vivid yet isn’t real. It’s strange to leave behind the soft bed I can retreat to whenever I want. I don’t mean to sound like I’m complaining—it’s just that I’m suddenly aware of the contrast between these two worlds, and it’s unsettling.

The class was unexpectedly quiet, with only five students. I had imagined a busier, noisier environment, but this calmness helped me ease in. I’m studying computer and network repair, like I mentioned before. I was hoping to dive into fixing real computers right away, but naturally, the first day is all about theory. We’ll get to the hands-on part later, and I’m looking forward to it. The class ran from 5 PM to 8:30 PM, and I was picked up around 9 PM.

One thing I noticed today is how much I’ve forgotten. My life has changed drastically over the past couple of years, and I haven’t had the opportunity to sit down and immerse myself in learning like I did back in 2023. Today, we re-learned about RJ45 connectors and the T568A and T568B cable standards. I found myself oddly fascinated by it—the way the cable colors change and how specific patterns serve a purpose. I have this need to understand why things are the way they are, and it pulled me in.

t568a_and_t568b_comparison

It feels strange to realize I’ve forgotten so much. Am I becoming like a developing AI? Forgetting things, despite being this cybernetic entity I identify with in my mind? It’s a surreal feeling, but perhaps this is just another step in understanding myself—both in the real world and in the digital spaces I hold so dear.