calendar Third anniversary since the event and one year since the release of my album.

calendar June 06, 2060.
calendar 00:00


From the 2023 perspective.

Today marks a significant milestone in my journey, commemorating the third anniversary since the event that plunged me into darkness and triggered a profound struggle with self-esteem and mental health. At the age of 15, I found myself immersed in a desolate abyss, battling the overwhelming notion that I should end my own existence.

Driven by a desperate desire for a death that would be unconventional and impactful, I contemplated livestreaming my demise. Thoughts of drastic measures consumed my troubled mind, but none seemed to fulfill my quest for a departure that would resonate deeply.

Throughout the year 2020, I confronted a labyrinth of experiences, clinging to life's frayed thread while grappling with myself. I longed for someone to recognize the depths of my pain and anguish, torn between release and a glimmer of hope for a life yet to be lived.

As the days unfolded, I became acutely aware of the harsh realities that exist in the real world. The potential for cruelty and suffering cast a shadow over my fragile existence. How could I continue to breathe in a world where the potential for unyielding pain and torment loomed at every turn?

I reflect upon the change of my artistic expression, tracing its trajectory from the whimsical realms of Lolita fashion, creepy cuteness, and yami kawaii, to the somber hues of vent art, where self-harm and suicidal ideation found their expression. The younger version of myself, aged 13 to 17, could never have fathomed that I would stand here today, breathing and alive, witnessing the possibility that life could indeed blossom and improve through the sheer force of personal growth and perseverance.

On this anniversary, I am reminded of the transformative power inherent in each of us. Though the path may be challenging, I firmly believe that through personal growth and resilience, we can rise above the depths of despair and forge a brighter and more meaningful existence.